Yes, I've been bad......

About posting...sorry, I guess sometimes I just feel like I have way too much drama to keep on bringing it up, but it does feel good to get it out. Also little J has been sick, I guess its his horrible teeth, he has not been feeling good the past 2 days, today he is somewhat feeling better, but I can tell he is still not feeling the best. I hate when babies get sick.
Plus he is not sleeping well at night so I'm very sleep deprived...no fun at all!! Makes for a cranky day.
So yesterday we went to breakfast at Jonathans parents house, it was very nice!!! Then I was suppose to go to my niece's first t ball game, well I didn't make it, I had a sick baby, and it was very windy, so I made the decision NOT to take my sick baby out in the wind and to let him just stay home and get better...well guess what, my whole family is mad at me and upset I didnt' come, and my sister is NOT talking to me now. Its seems like in my family its easier to NOT talk to someone then to address the problem, get over it, and move on. NOOOO they don't want to do that, they just want to make me feel bad about making the best decision for MY child. At one point I thought well maybe I will just go(b/c I always feel guilty, especially when it comes to my niece) and let Jonathan take care of little J, but then I felt like a bad mom leaving my son home sick while I went out and watched the t ball game....so at that point I started feeling like a bad aunt b/c I miss my nieces first t ball game. I can never win for losing...its just not fair my family takes full advantage of the guilt I have, and they get this, no one called to see why I didn't come or if everything was ok b/c I did now show up, they are only thinking about them selfs at this point...its not fair. I've been nothing but good to my sister and my niece, I have a great relationship with both, but since I had my baby they seems to think they still need to come first instead of my child...its just not fair....I mean I love them lots, but I have my own child now, that I'm going to take care of first. I guess just add my sister to the list of family members not really talking to me, so that would be my dad my 2 brothers who don't talk to me b/c my dad doesn't and my sister...oh and i'm sure my niece is going to be mad at me too. Its just amazing...I thought family was suppose to be there no matter what????
Oh and They hate big Jonathan, which was never a problem before we had the baby, I mean I was prepared for things to change, but not like this. Jonathan is a wonderful dad, I couldn't ask for better..yes we still have our problems, but who doesn't right..and I never make the mistake to tell my family when we fight or anything like that, it would just add to it. So why do they not like him???? They say he is disrespectful? Well I feel like they are disrespectful. I just had a major blow out with my sister, and I"m over it!!! I'm so tired of it? I just dont' know what to do about all this??